Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Just In Case You Were Having A Good Day...

I'd like to be the one to ruin it. Not that I'm spiteful. And it certainly isn't personal. It's just that everyone knows that misery loves company and with my roomate out of town while I'm stuck here working full time, I feel especially alone in my joylessness.

So here it is. I've posted the following link to make you regret you ever started reading this.

ESPN.com's 50 Best
Programs Since 1984-1985

"Wait, Johnny," you say, smirking, "this isn't the top 50 list." Well, my astute friend, you're right! This is the page filled with also-rans--the page where you'll find the University of Dayton. If you didn't see it, keep scrolling until your hand gets tired. We're down there, tied for 168th.

Now before you get too despondent and say something you'll regret, look who we're there with.

- Arkansas State University Red Wolves: Just this year the university decided to change the mascot from the Indians to the Red Wolves; I suspect it's an effort to curb all the whooping and hollering those crazy Indians did over Arkansas State's lone Sun Belt Conference championship in 1999.

- Marshall University Thundering Herd: Anyone who saw "We Are Marshall" knows that it's the greatest movie of all time because a rag-tag bunch of freshmen and guys not good enough to play anywhere else got together and handed a beating to our old friend, Xavier. The Musketeers were clearly so embarassed that they cut football. As such, I should only say nice things... but honestly, how is it even possible that we're mentioned in the same breath as these guys? Of course, they did have their first winning season since 2001 last year, which is nice.

- Radford University Highlanders: Look, I'm not going to do what everyone thinks I'm going to do, which is make a joke about one of the following: Adrian Paul, Christopher Lambert, a bad movie, an even worse television series, Braveheart, Mel Gibson's crazy ass, men in skirts. Instead, I'm simply going to say that this team apparently won the Big South championship in 1998. And that's it. I have no idea about Radford. Anyone with information about the Radford University men's basketball program please assemble a fact sheet in bullet form of less than 750 words telling me the highlights and send it to: Johnny, c/o Peanut Butter and a Blanket, Pitch-Dark Corner of UD Arena, Back Row. Any help would be greatly appreciated, because I don't know a thing about these guys...

What is perhaps most painful about that last sentence is that thousands of sports fans around the country have said that about Dayton for a while now. We won one NCAA tournament game in the range of seasons ESPN covers (1990). Maybe it's a sign that UD went to the regional final in 1984, the year prior to the cutoff.

I don't have anything useful to add here. I suppose I could drone on about the state of the program, how we aren't where we need to be, whether Gregory's recruiting the right kind of guys, whether Gregory himself is the right guy and if any Big East team in their right mind will ever schedule us again. But it's all been done. I'm too tired and too depressed to bother with it tonight. Between my fall diversion, Louisville Football, and my winter entertainment, Flyer Basketball, it's a wonder I've made it through this offseason without bitch-slapping a co-worker or two just to make sure I still have any fight left in me. At any rate, I said earlier that misery loves company... it's nice to have you aboard. The ride's a little bumpy and I'm going to need to get you a life jacket. If the recent past is any indication, you're going to want to jump by mid-February... just remember to go feet-first or it's going to hurt like hell.


amy said...

I'm sure we would have been higher with at least one more NCAA win

The perfect chance was when UD (as a 4 seed) played Tulsa, but Purnell was more concerned with moving on to Clemson than coaching a game

Anonymous said...

Check out RU Men's Basketball here:

Note, however, that the head coach just found out that his contract isn't being renewed by her majesty... .